But like, you know, Sears creative.

In my state, we have little to no waste in state government. We are lean and six-sigma’d out the wazoo. That’s why, apparently, we pay our state agency directors to make decisions like, “This PowerPoint that the training guy made has some emoji in it. Should it? Should it have emoji, Director? Please take the paid time to consider this question and issue a final decision.” And then the state agency director (who reports directly to the governor) takes the paid time to consider the question and issue a final decision.

Continue reading →

I picked up a souvenir during our trip. It’s called a Buddha Board. You use water to paint on it like a canvas. The water causes the strokes you make to darken and appear. Slowly, as the water dries, the marks disappear. Impermanence and presence. A gimmick? Sure. But it’s a clever, calming one.

A parade of nazis took to the streets in my town yesterday. Our governor and our neoliberal, useless mayor issued worthless statements of condemnation. If you’re a member of a marginalized or minority American community, I suggest you get a safety plan in place.

Here are some scenarios I just brainstormed.

If something happens and we need a short term temporary place to stay in town away from our home address

If something happens and we need a longer term place to stay in town away from our home address

If something happens and we need to temporarily leave town

If something happens and we need to leave town for an extended period

If something happens and we need to physically go into hiding

If one of us gets injured or attacked

If both of us get injured or attacked

If one of us should be killed

If both of us should be killed

If our marriage is undone by the government

If our house is raided by the government

If we are anonymously reported to the government

If one of us is imprisoned

If both of us are imprisoned

If literature we own becomes banned

If artwork we own becomes banned

If films we own become banned

If homosexuality becomes criminalized

If atheism becomes criminalized

If a friend is harassed

If a friend is injured or attacked

If a friend is killed

If a family member is harassed

If a family member is injured or attacked

If a family member is killed

If a friend reports us

If a family member reports us

If a neighbor reports us

If a coworker reports us

If public dissent becomes criminalized

If internet use becomes censored or monitored

If social media is closely monitored

If iOS app usage is closely monitored

How will we communicate with trusted individuals

How will we communicate with untrusted individuals

How will we stay informed

Who do we trust

Who don’t we trust

Get passports

Get cash money out of the bank

Get important documents printed and vaulted

Cancel unnecessary accounts and online profiles

Submit data deletion requests

Get VPNd

Get non-US based email addresses

Get encrypted messaging apps

Get encrypted note taking apps, calendar apps, password apps, etc

Severely limit professional and nonprofessional relationships with known or suspected conservatives

Practice self care

Brainstorm more potential scenarios

Plan for the worst

One ringy dingy Two ringy dingies ¡click! Hello. The Democratic Party is either away from its phone, or on another line. Please leave a message. ¡beep! We’re sorry. This mailbox is full. Please try again later.

A Very Merry Christmas!

Mom asked for Christmas gift ideas for me and Michael, so I emailed some ideas. A vinyl Tori Amos album. Gift cards. A nice pair of over-the-head headphones for Michael. Then I got a little bit tacky, and a whole lot real. I’m highly concerned that my job will be up for elimination soon, I said in the email. If any gifts are given, cash would be the most helpful to us at this point.

Continue reading →

Stickered my gay car with some gay stickers using my gay hands and my gay all purpose glass cleaner.

“Shood Loads Not Guns” is my favorite.

For some reason, I recalled this morning that in 6th grade I wanted to be a psychiatrist.

I thought that a queer thing…do many 6th graders want to be psychiatrists when they grow up?

My Cool Aunt said once she had wanted to be one too, but felt that a broken doll couldn’t heal broken dolls.

Ohio House Bill 445: Release Time for Religious Instruction (RTRI)

🚨🚨House Bill 445 will force Ohio Schools to adopt an RTRI “Release Time for Religious Instruction” policy. 🚨🚨 This opens the door WIDE for predatory organizations like Lifewise Academy (See Parents Against Lifewise) to infiltrate our public schools with Evangelical Christian Nationalist Rhetoric. Tonight is the deadline to submit opposition testimony to this bill. We have until 11 am today! To submit written testimony on HB 445 you must: Download and fill out this witness form www.

Continue reading →

I found our next two Netflix binge serieseses: KAOS and EVIL. Not sure what that says about me, exactly.

Our hotel in Colorado is having speed dating for 45-60 year olds only and I’m like 👴🏻

Polarization in American Politics?

I keep reading about “polarization” and I just don’t get it. What could possibly be polarizing? Maybe if I think really hard I’ll be able to figure it out. In the meantime, here’s a completely random list of non-partisan words and phrases randomly listed in random order and that have nothing to do with anything anywhere at all. Elected Felon Convicted felon Impeached Impeached Musk Twitter X Billionaire Immigrant South Africa $132 Million Government Contract Promises Lies Economy “Novus Ordo Seclorum” Puppet Tariffs 10% 20% 60% Tax Consumers Promises Lies That’s not how tariffs work Price increases Consumer borne Actress Wife Divorce Dead Immigrant Wife Divorce Dead Buried Golf course Immigrant Wife Nude Absent Notably absent God Man of god Gold Man of gold Gold sneakers Sold Old Older Oldest Oldest man ever 78 Years old Savior Cult Cultist Christian Christian value Christian values Christian democracy Deportation Mass deportation Mass deportation now 20 Million deportations Private prisons Empty beds $400 million more annually Stock market Stock prices Soaring Unprecedented opportunity Cost $88 Billion $315 Billion Taxes Taxpayers Who pays for it?

Continue reading →

🤐 Here’s a completely random list of non-partisan words and phrases randomly listed in random order and that have nothing to do with anything anywhere at all.

https://mrd.paste.lol/polarization/raw

The Asshole

I saw an Asshole. There he was, this Asshole, right there in the airport. Standing there, puckering all over the place where anyone could see, and in the same queue of people as us. The Asshole was small. Short and stout like in the little teapot song, but not at all a teapot. The Asshole was more like a half melted, hard, clear, plastic beer pitcher. A clear, plastic beer pitcher filled with shit and lit on fire by some country hick who thinks it’s hilarious to fart and shit on anything good or decent or clean, and who’s got nothing else useful to do.

Continue reading →

Aaaaand we immediately got a text that the direct flight has been delayed four hours ✈️🚫⏳⏳⏳⏳☹️

Aaaaand they got us a different flight-this one is a direct flight! ✈️ 🙂✈️

Aaaaand our connecting flight just got canceled. 🛫☹️🛬

We are flying today. It’s the first time we’ve been on a mini vacation in a very long time. This just happened:

Intercom: Attention, Terminal. Attention. Pastor John Workman please return to TSA and collect your belonging.

Michael: …Belonging?

Me: He’s pastor. Must be talking about his wife.

🥁🥁💥

What a beautiful piece of heartache This has all turned out to be Lord knows we’ve learned the hard way All about healthy apathy

youtube.com/watch

-Over the Rhine, “Latter Days”, Good Dog Bad Dog

Current mood:

I can’t wait to say “I told you so” to every single one of them at the exact moment it hurts them the most. I am sorry I’m not above that. Right now I do not even wish to be. I have no desire for compassion. I have no energy for it. I have no capacity for it. All I taste is bitter indifference.