🇺🇸 ➕MATTHEW 🇺🇸

Saturday, August 31, 2024

omg you guys. I just got a text and right at the top, underneath the photo, it says Kamala, plus sign, Tim, plus sign, MATTHEW

That’s my name!

I am a part of this!

The text goes on to say the only thing missing is me! Which is a little odd that it says that because it just confirmed I am not missing but instead an actual crucial component very much included in this, so the only thing missing isn’t me. Must be a typo. Maybe they meant “donuts” because they appear to be missing from the photo. Yeah. Probably donuts.

ANYWAY I don’t know what to say or who among you to thank. If you texted them on my behalf I am deeply appreciative. I am literally swooning!

Since you’re reading this, you secret do gooder, I have one small favor to ask of you.

Can you pitch in and give me $25 today so I can go and save our democracy with Kamala plus sign Tim?

$25.00. That’s all I’m asking for.

To put it into perspective, that’s less than the cost of a Starbucks mocha Frappuccino purchased at the third downtown Starbucks location, the one in the hotel lobby but not the main lobby it’s in the smaller lobby next to the side entrance, each weekday for a week. So really, you’d be saving money by giving me $25.

Well actually if you account for the burden of having to keep corporate profits at record highs while watching the Republican owned media fling shit all over every anti-price gouging policy proposed by a Democratic candidate for president and then act like the racist lunatic criminal talking about sharks and batteries and black jobs is perfectly normal all while blaming a currently seated massively accomplished Democratic president for inflation and terrorizing consumers into thinking we’re on the verge of a recession every five minutes, $25 is more like less than the cost of two weekday Frappuccinos rather than five of them.

But if you don’t account for that stuff it’s like five Frapps. Without extra mocha drizzle.

Anyway, thanks in advance for giving me your democracy $25 money! I can’t wait to tell Kamala + Tim how much I make!

This must be what it feels like to sell Girl Scout Cookies.

IT FEELS AMAZING TO BE A PART OF THE SOLUTION!

You guys are the best!

USA USA USA

OR

USA plus sign USA plus sign _SA (where the only thing missing is U)