Husband started a new part-time job this weekend. I feel some guilt over it. At least, I think it’s guilt. Maybe shame. I feel like I should be able to provide for both of us. That he shouldn’t have to work. And he probably wouldn’t, but I am swimming in consumer debt 💸 I need to find a part-time job, myself. In working with my therapist (whom I really appreciate and like), we’ve identified that one of my negative core beliefs is that I’m incompetent. I think that’s why I’m feeling guilt or shame over this. I feel that I’ve let Husband down. That if I were more competent or competent at all, he wouldn’t feel like he has to work.
I have an affirmation written in dry erase marker on the mirrored interior of my bathroom medicine cabinet. It says, “I can fail at something and still be competent.” Sounds like I should write a few more of them on the cabinet.
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Highlights
📺 Watching
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We’ve been watching The Sandman on Netflix. I really, really like it. I love the use of colored light and shadow throughout. We just finished the two Lucifer episodes. Excellent.
Neil Gaiman I’m a little more…conflicted…about. He’s been a fringe thread in my tapestry since I started listening to Tori Amos in 7th grade. (If you need me, me and Neil’ll be hangin’ out with the Dream King. Neil says ‘hi’ by the way. - Tori Amos (1992) “Tear In Your Hand,” Little Earthquakes.)
It’s possible to, at the same time, like or love someone and someone’s work and someone’s light and not like the darkness of the things that someone (allegedly) did. At least, I think it is.
There is light and there is dark inside us all.
🍿 Viewing
Follow me on Trakt: https://trakt.tv/users/wireddifferently
We saw The Last Class on Friday. I enjoy reading Robert Reich’s newsletter.
📚 Reading
Check back later.
🍽️ Eating
Great lemongrass chicken at Tiger + Lily downtown.
🎧 Listening
Follow me on Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/profile/WiredDifferently
You can hear me “woo!” at the beginning of this live recording of one of my very favorite Tori Amos songs.
📰 Scanning
Robert Reich’s newsletter.
🙏 Thanking
Making a new friend
Facilitating a good training session at work
Having the ability to improvise when facilitating a good training session at work
🩺 Healing
I rescheduled my call with the health coach for like the 10th time. Pushed it back another month. But today I started a new/additional coaching program, so…🤷♂️
